Chris Coleman's wife once said in a Fulham match programme that Southgate was the funniest man she had ever met, which seems hard to believe. He's not going to win the Peter Ustinov award for resonance and eloquence either.
On the other hand, as co-commentator on the Chelsea match last night, he was very illuminating on the art of central defending. Which you don't expect to hear from co-commentators, so obsessed are they by describing in slow motion exactly what you can see for yourself.
My personal co-commentary consisted of shouting "big goal...big goal..." when Chelsea equalised, which was mainly due to the money it had just won me, but I had to laugh when my new favourite failed penalty-taker/manager/pizza hut actor picked up the baton effortlessly with his own summation of the situation - "big goal...big goal.."
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