Agricultural Shows

Since I've moved up here a lot of my life seems to remind me of my teenage years - albeit without the angst and shoe-staring - and agricultural shows would definitely be included in that.

Yesterday we sampled the Newport Show just down the road. What's not to like? A mere tenner for a whole day's entertainment - all the usual farmyard livestock - cows, sheep, alpacas; beer tents and foodie stalls; the usual display teams on their summer schlep round tory England; traction engines and oldie tractors, and the local brass band playing to the lines of women queuing for the toilets. It was, in fact, exactly what people used to do for entertainment before music festivals were invented.

This one worked out even better as a friend at the heart of club middle england took us into sundry private marquees and plied us with Pimms and hog-roasts until I couldn't eat another cherry (punnets for £1!). It was a bit like being backstage with the band. All I had to do was pretend to be the largest grain importer in Herefordshire, which seems easy enough but god knows what I'm going to do with the 20 tonnnes I purchased off some drunk farmer from Market Drayton...

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